#23: How To Use Human Design To Create Ease In Life And Business (With Jess Lock)
Episode Shownotes
Human Design will change how you see the world.
Today’s podcast guest, the wonderful Jes Lock, teaches us how understanding your personal Human Design will bring ease and alignment to the forefront of your life.
Jes runs Whole and Unleashed, a business that combines her expertise as a Holistic Mindset, Human Design & Stråla Yoga Guide. In this enlightening episode, we discuss what Human Design actually is, and how understanding your profile gives you the tools to lead a more authentic and aligned life.
Human Design
Derived from ancient esoteric wisdom found in cultures around the world, Human Design is a synthesis of all the systems that show insight into your energies. Jes explains Human Design as a tool that supports people to come home to themselves; to help them understand who they really are.
Discover your Free Bodygraph at www.mybodygraph.com/
Jess Lock
✨ Follow Jes on social media at www.instagram.com/jes.lock/
🎧 Listen to her podcast at Whole and Unleashed
💜 Find out more about her new programme Coming Home at www.wholeandunleashed.com/coming-home
Listen to my episode on Jes’ podcast here.
Let’s continue the conversation at https://www.instagram.com/emilypeilan/
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Episode Transcript
Emily: Hello, my beautiful friends and welcome back to another episode. So today's guest we have Jess Lock from Holland unleashed, Jess is a human design reader. And for those of you who may not have heard of human design or heard of it floating around, there are these terms like manifest manifesting generator projector. And there's so much more, which we will dive into. So this episode really is a kind of introduction into human design, a basic breakdown of the different profiles. And I have personally found human design to be super fascinating. And it really allowed me to acknowledge my energy flow, and just the way I work energetically. And it gave me a lot of permission to actually restructure my days, or my work my life in a way that actually created the most flow in my chart. And so it's a little bit like astrology it is based on your birth time and place and everything like that. I will let Jess get into the nitty gritty of that in the episode. But yeah, so for any of you who have been interested in human design and what it's all about, and yeah, where you can learn more about your profiles and everything Jess does do readings herself, she has incredible resources on human design. So all the links, roll the extra resources, I will link in the show notes below. But for now, let's dive into this super juicy episode. Welcome to the Free Wild Souls podcast. Super, super excited to have you here.
Jess: I'm so excited and bust to be here.
Emily: It's been a long time coming. I remember when I decided to do this podcast, I was like Jess, I definitely need to get you on and have a conversation about human design. So yeah, let's dive into I thought it'd be really fun to dive straight into profiling.
Jess: I was so excited, because for me when I first learned about human design, it sounded very much like astrology where my mind could not comprehend like rising sun. This is your moon, this is your Scorpio I'm like what, but basically Human Design is a system based on the synthesis of like, ancient esoteric wisdoms from around the world, which I found really cool like the Chinese eaching the Kabbalah Tree of Life, Western astrology, je the Hindu brown chakras, I'm so excited that my words are blurring into one. Because like, more things want to come out. And I can like enunciate it. But basically, it's a synthesis of all the systems that help you see the energies, you have the energies that you have consistently, how you show up how you interact with others. And what was very grounding for me was that it helped me validate so much of my life experience and how I experienced life. And it's like a tool that I really like to support others to coming home to themselves to understanding who they are, because we've all been so heavily conditioned to be the same.
Emily: Yeah, absolutely. And there are like quite a few different types. So yeah, there are a few different so let's start with like a manifesting generator. How does the energy of a manifesting generator kind of work?
Jess: So your type is determined by the centres that you have defined and undefined and how they're connected to each other. So a manifesting generator has a throat gauge channel that connects to their sacral either directly or indirectly, like through other centres that they connect with. And that allows you to manifest to initiate things and to sustain it with your sacral energy. And that's one of five types.
Emily: Okay. And then we've got manifesting generator, we've also got then generator?
Jess: Yes, generator and then manifester, yeah projector and reflector and every type has kind of like the role of purpose. The manifester is here to like initiate to start things that people have probably never thought of. And the generator with their sacral lifeforce energy is here to sustain whatever the manifester like sparked in them and the manifesting generator is someone who can get something started and sustain it but they work so fast that they might want to jump on something else. They're here to show us like you collapse time for us, you show us how things can be done quickly and more efficiently.
Emily: I love that. And so I actually for people who are thinking about okay, how do I know which one I am? Is this like a personality test? It is not a personality test. It is like based on your, the date of your birth and just the time as well. So you have to be quite exactly the hours and all the things. So there are some tools that are for free that you can check out. Is there one in particular that you would recommend that people use?
Jess: Yeah, one that I've been starting with? Because I feel like it's a bit cleaner interface. It's my body graph.com. Okay. Yeah, that's one, but you can also just Google Human Design body graph, and then you'll get a bunch of free options. And the reason that it's like place and time base, it's because it's kind of the concentration of energies that are in that area at the time of your birth. So you're, like, flooded with that energy? And that becomes kind of your default programming in a sense.
Emily: So you're decom programming? Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. And then, so like, after, you've, you've got your main energy types, which you call them. And then you've got your profiles, which is kind of, for example, you've got 123456, and you've got like, a main one, and then a secondary one. So for example, mine is on one, three. Yeah, and no, do you want to like dive into that? A little bit?
Jess: Yeah, definitely. So there's so much language, when we first look at human design is like, well, what is like profile authority strategy. So profile is basically how your energy moves and interacts with other energies, just to understand that a bit better, because when we talk about strategy and authority, that's kind of like how you connect to yourself how you move, how you get your energy out, but profile is how your energy interact with others and how others see you. So there is a conscious side and an unconscious side, which is mind and body. Yeah. So your one is basically your personality side, the one that you're very aware of, and your three is your body. It's the known as well, the one is known as the investigator and the three is known. It's not the best word to describe it. I think experimenter sounds a lot better than the martyr, which is one of the original names because you're, you love trying things out what's breaking so that you can fix it and improve. And the one is the one who really builds a strong foundation.
Emily: Yeah, that yeah, definitely. I feel like I do go through life unconscious,
Jess: Just like trial and error, everything. It just finds you.
Emily: Oh, it just finds me. And then and then I feel like then I do all of these trial and error. And then I like announce it to people tell people like, this worked. This didn't work. Yes,
Jess: That's the one, the one you're seen as an authority. The one is because you are always investigating and you know, a lot more than others. That's why people come to you for a lot of things. You just kind of have this aura of like, oh, Emily has probably tried. I've done it all.
Emily: I made all the mistakes, guys.
Jess: Yeah. And there's 12 profiles in total. So there's different combinations. And some are here to externalise a lot of their energy others are a bit more an internal process.
Emily: Yeah. Wow. Yeah, there's honestly like human designers. It's so fascinating. You can go so deep with it. Another interesting thing, I think, is the difference between people who are like, have sacral authority versus I think it's emotional. Yeah, yes. Yeah.
Jess: So because I'm already, yeah, your sacral your sacral. But you're also Triple Split. So that adds to the new ones. And I can't wait to get into that. But like authorities is basically like your inner compass, your how do you connect to your inner voice and that inner voice is different depending on your type. So the emotional like how you make decisions, it's how you make decisions, but how you're guided how your decisions are guided? Yeah, because the whole point of this is kind of removing the energy from the mind to make decisions to drop into your intuition, your body, your emotions, whatever your authority is, because that's your, your guiding force, some a lot of times, I think, at least the past like hundreds of years, where you have so much masculine energy, trying to be strategic and make decision from the mind. But so much of life is we need to integrate body and mind, your body is also guiding you. So the authority and human design is what allows you to to connect to that part of your body that sometimes can be unconsciously defined or consciously defined. Interesting.
Emily: So like, give her an example. Like how would then I as a sacral will make mine will be guided and making my decisions versus someone who's an emotional, an emotional.'
Jess: So I'm just looking at your chart right now. Your sacral is like a body wisdom. And it's like a, as I've heard, because I'm not sacred that you have like an expanding or like a contracting feeling. When something comes to your, your aura, you're like, yes or no, you know what your body's just telling you? Yes, no, I really like that.
Emily: And I think okay, so this is, I thought this was everybody had this. I'm like, Yeah, this is how I make decisions. Do you not have this like, No, you know, like, when I'm hitchhiking? Or if I need to make a big decision, for whatever reason, should I go here? Should I go there? It's like, I get really quiet. I connect with myself. And it's a yes, no, it's like, and I have to ask myself a yes. No, it can't be like, where do we want to go?
Jess: Yes. So that's the thing of what the sacral needs very direct yes or no to respond to? It's not an awareness centre. So that's a motor, it's like, it just it can respond with what you're giving it Yes. Or no, sometimes it's not yet. Right. It's never a complete? No. And you can also, you know, there are nuances to
Emily: Yes. Yeah, massively. I've had one recently where it's like, you know, with like, moving my company to Malta, for example. So it was just not yet. And then I'm not here. And I was like, yes. Tiny hotel, it was like, in a very bodily like, yes.
Jess: Right. And you've been tuning into your sacral for a while now. So you have the language, and you have the awareness of how that feels. And the emotional, if somebody has the emotional centre define, it immediately becomes their authority. Because it's a very strong, it's a motor, it's also an awareness centre. And basically, they're guided by their emotions. And the way they make decisions compared to someone who's sacral is not as immediate. They don't, they, they're always riding like an emotional wave one day, they might feel very excited about a job offer. And the day after, just like, What the hell does sucks, like, everything, and you know, you see them as emotional, like, what's wrong, but then, you know, maybe a few days later, they feel a bit more neutral. They're like, their waters. If we were to describe it using like, the ocean and the waves metaphor, it's a bit more still, but they're never like 0% feeling no emotion. Wow.
Emily: And how does that influence their decision making? Like, do they should they wait to make yes,
Jess: they should wait. So whenever they're feeling something very intensely, emotional, high or low, don't, it's recommended to not make decisions there. Because sometimes, the impulse could be to regret later because you made it on a higher on a low. And then afterwards, like, Actually, I didn't get to the middle point yet. Because when they're in the middle point, that's when their authority, the the emotions is like, you should do that, or no, that's actually not for you. Like it's designed to weigh in all the emotional spectrum of what that decision will affect them. And again, you can't influence the emotional wave. So it's something that people will simply experience a lasts as long as it lasts. And then when they feel clarity, they will see it, you can't rush it, it's more like how do I nourish myself and knowing that you need time. So a lot of times, as an emotional authority, time is recommended, like do not make decisions on a whim if you can. But if it's something as simple as like, should I eat a sandwich or sushi for lunch, like, you don't need to wait a few days,
Emily: I see. I actually know a few emotional authority people who, in a relationship that like when it's bad, oh, my goodness, like this is not working. Okay, I break up with them. And they're like, ready to like, break up with him. And then when it's going good, they're like, I'm in love with them, I and we're gonna marry them. And it's just such this like, massive contrast. And all of this can be happening in a week or within a few days, you know,
Jess: or within a few minutes, somebody was describing her daughter how she was getting dressed to go to school, and then her socks mismatch. And she was on full crisis mode, like she was the press and all that because she also had one of the gates from the emotional centre is the gate of crisis, where you kind of experience it's almost like a teenager is like, what the hell my life is. And then like, a few minutes later, she's like, I'm fine now. And for someone who's not aware of the human design language, or you're with someone with these kinds of emotional like spikes and lows, it might be like, what is wrong view? But that's why learning human design, it's like you're kind of meant to experience that but maybe the ways you cope when you're in a higher low could be you know, could you could get some tools to help you so that it doesn't feel like it just comes out of nowhere and scares everyone around you. Yeah. Oh
Emily: my gosh, it's so fascinating. Like when you dive deeper into it with they say your partner, your children, if you have children, or like your brother's siblings, your parents, like, Ah, you're emotional. Okay, got it. You're Have
Jess: I watched my family so much ever since I learned this, I'm like, oh, and then I've been like talking human design to my sister so much that she was telling me the other day in the car. She's like, I saw Mom and Dad's design play right in front of me like, Dad's magnify my mom's emotional centre, he doesn't know what to do with it. So he's like, pacing around. And she is just like, trying to get him to listen. And like, even though she doesn't know that much human assignment, because I've instilled so much in her to see her witness that and not take any of that personally was like, I'm glad I can at least have a bit of tools.
Emily: That's almost like you can come to just accept just people as they are because then you understand it's like, oh, like this is, this is how their energy functions. This is how they need to, like, process this. And you can hold them in that witness them in that I mean, like, that's cool. And not take it personally. Yes, yes.
Jess: And also to add, like a cabinet does does not excuse them for being you know, you know, yeah, pushing boundaries and all that you could understand where it comes from, but also not giving them an excuse when you know, there are ways to engage with each other.
Emily: Yeah, absolutely. And last little bit, because you can go there are so many like gates and channels and all the things in in defined centres. But last thing you said you wanted to get into Triple Split, like there. Yeah. So what is the language for that? Like? Because I know I'm a Triple Split. What are you?
Jess: So that comes from definition, definition is how your define energies connect to each other? Right? So I'm single definition I, my energies connect through like, it can there's no cut in the energy flow. Let's put it that way. So people were single definition, they're, you know, quick, they make decisions really easy. They just know what's good for them. And also, depending on their authority, remember emotional, they might need a few days to settle in. But my authority is splenic. So I'm kind of like in the moment, I know what's for me what's not for me, I cannot explain it. It's a quiet voice. And then there's split definition where you have two centres that are defined, but they're not connected to each other. In your case, your triple slit. So you have three centres or like three energy hubs that are defined, but they're not connected to each other. And there's nothing wrong with being a split. I think sometimes when people hear about it, it's like, what does that mean? I'm not self contained. It simply means that you as a triple slit, you're designed to move around different auras and energy throughout the day. And see how you live your life. Do you care to see to explain Have you connect to that notion?
Emily: It's so funny, because that I was troubled by it. Oh, cool. I don't really know what that means. And then I think you are the one who actually explained it to me. Yeah. Oh, so it explains why you need a lot of different things and to be in different places, and have different groups of friends, and to do different projects to stimulate you. And even when I like, take a step back and look at my day like today, I started off here, and then I had to move to a cafe. And then when I move it or want to change a task, I almost have to move physically, my energy, my state, more else, so I can like to make and then to connect to another thing. And so I'm actually constantly moving in different places, different countries, they give me like a different energy and I need and with friends as well. I need different groups of people. Yeah, it's almost like I have like, like you said, three hubs, I have, like multiple hubs that I need to like, fill them, all
Jess: these different groups of people and experiences help you connect to different parts of yourself.
Emily: Exactly, exactly. And I need these different. Yeah, I just I need that.
Jess: And yes, and because you have like you have seven centres of mind. So that means you're the centres that you have to find you're projecting that energy out for others to amplify, we're here to basically share energy. And the open centres are where we receive energy. So as a Triple Split, you're designed to move around, like connecting with other people. And they also get a sense of your energy, the wisdom of your energy. Oh,
Emily: it's like here Yeah.
Jess: Kind of it's like you know, an energetic exchange. That's what relationships are that's what projects are, you know, a healthy one when you know what feels right for you or, you know, what doesn't feel as
Emily: good explained so much in the last two weeks where I actually I kind of don't know why but I semi what forced myself to stay in one place like in my Airbnb and work and I was so miserable. Like, I remember your story, see, and yeah. And because I didn't have dash and the Wi Fi was really bad. Like I could really only be stuck inside and when the One room that had sent me what functioning Wi Fi, I couldn't work from cafes, I couldn't go out. And I didn't, I was solo travelling, because my partner was somewhere else. And I didn't really, like have friends in this town because it was open. So I felt really lonely. I had no energy to circulate me. And I was out of my fucking mind. Really, and I realised now being here having energy around me, like, it brings me back to balance. Yes, because you're, you're
Jess: kind of meant to move around that way. And for someone else, like a single definition, I have a lot of people in my life that are triple splits, and I love watching them and their ability to move from environment to environment, my sister is a triple split. And she will be like, Oh, I have this group of friends. I have university friends, I have the older group and like, I feel so exhausted. Also, because I'm a projector, see a move about I'm like one event a day, it's more than enough for me. So energised going to it. And I just love that I love observing that and seeing Oh, she's living out her design.
Emily: That's beautiful. I love your sisters is a triple split. And then so like there's also this I'd love to touch on like, why certain people tend to get along well together. It's almost like they have this energetic pathways, Gates channels, and like, what they fit with each other? Or how would you go back.
Jess: There's a lot of things that people can find resonance with, sometimes you have like a hormone ik profile. So the way you express your energy is similar. There's also electromagnetics. Like when your centres connect, like you have a hanging gate, and somebody has this other hanging gate, and it forms a channel and all of a sudden, you're like, oh, there's this new pathway that we can express ourselves. So in some relationships, there's a few electromagnetics that's why people feel so connected to each other. Or sometimes, you know, certain relationships can help you bridge your definition. So if your split, quadruple split or Triple Split, certain people in your life might just feel really good. And you don't know why. And it could be because you have some gates that are like connecting to each other. Something that is very fascinating that I've noticed. And it comes from people that I know that have watched them all my life. And I'm like, why do they not get along? I couldn't figure it out until I decided to pull their human design. And I noticed they have no electromagnetics. So nothing, they have nothing in common, their profile is different. There. They don't share a lot of gates, sometimes they have like compromised channels where one person has a gate. And then the other person has the whole channel. And they're kind of like overriding you with that energy, because they have it all the time. So I can see the tensions. And I was like, Well, that explains why your relationship is so difficult. Oh my gosh. And then I also see this person with another person's relationship. And I'm like, Oh, I see why you have so many inside jokes like your buddies.
Emily: Wow, that's so fascinating. Because it's like it in with human design. What really liked it at the time, someone who's really sceptical and I think you were to a little bit and I'm like, Yeah, sure, it's fine. It kind of defines me that I'm just like a one off. It just happens to fit and tick the box. Yeah, you start doing this for more people. There are people who don't even know about this, and you're like, wow, you know, but it just, it explains so many things. And it's like, you know, take it or leave it if it doesn't resonate with you. It doesn't resonate with you, but but I do find that I'm somebody who tends to believe in things, if they're time and time again, then improved, right? In a way, you know, there's so I'm like, okay, like, I can't really ignore that human design doesn't isn't a thing. Like it really explains so much about people's relationships and like how people fit together. And also just your own energetics of like, how you work. Maybe you're like, somebody who thrives on maybe you're a triple split like me, and you're like, I have to stay at home from nine to five and work in this one place. Your energy that's not your chart, and you're not living by it. And so you feel frustration and, and productivity. All Yeah, won't be like knew your child and you could like, acknowledge them that oh, I need to be in different places. As I think, for me, having learned about my child, I'm like, Oh, I gave myself permission almost to like, this is how I work best. And going with the flow and finding a lot more ease by day to day with my work and just life in general. So
Jess: yeah, yeah, I mean, that's the whole I kind of purpose of the system is to bring you back to yourself because they talk a lot about deconditioning. And sometimes the language they use is like you're in, you're not self right now, which sometimes I feel like it's still yourself, you're just being conditioned to be that way. But I think it gives you validation of how you experience and it also shows you the areas where you were potentially, conditioning and conditioning is not necessarily bad. We're here to exchange energies, but there is conditioning where it forces you to pretend to mask to not be yourself. And then when we're able to pinpoint to have like a framework or a language that talks about what we've been feeling, but not necessarily know how to put into words. Because everything that we feel our experiences are so intertwined with our mindset and how we were raised that we don't know if like, do I actually like proving myself or like Did somebody forced me to do it or like, don't want to work that many hours or that was a source of pride, and it gets so intertwined. And I feel like human design has like a, almost like a map, like an energetic map of like, look, this is you, it looks overwhelming right now. But also, these are the parts of you that you might have been more conditioned. These are the parts of you where you were more susceptible to others energies. And, for instance, a lot of emotionally undefined people when they learn about that, too. Like, that's why I feel so much. Because any centre that you have undefined when you do receive that energy, it's almost like dialled up, it's like a bucket of water. Here, and we we don't have the practice of like holding these energies, it can feel so overwhelming. So the way we cope, it's like, let's not feel anything.
Emily: Yeah, no, yeah, absolutely. I can attest that. And then also like a play, because I feel like it can apply to helping, like, I wouldn't say better relationships and better understand relationships, perhaps. And also you yourself in your personal life, but also a lot of entrepreneurs and just our circle, use human design for business as well. And so like, like, for, like, as any business owners out there, how can like knowing your human design
Jess: help you in business. So many like goodness, in that, I think it gives you more permission to fall into the things that you knew that was inherently good for you. But because of you know, business strategies, you try it and it doesn't work. And an example in a post that I share a while back was about I'm a projector, I have only two centres defined. And if I follow everything I learned from business and marketing, that means I will need to post every day, I have an undefined sacral I don't have the energy to do that and live my life and cook and explore. That also means that you know, my voice has to be a certain way. And then I realised No, like, knowing the gates of my throat centre, how I express myself. My patterns was like, Yo, I've been like this my whole life. Why have I pretending? Why have I been trying to fit people's models of success? While I follow that? The less me I became. In a way you show up in business, because you
Emily: your time your energy? Zoom. Okay with that? River? Yeah. So so what? Yeah, so what in a lot of the areas? Do you think it would help in any business as well?
Jess: Yeah, I think definitely learning about your, your cycles. So for instance, for types, there are general cycles, and of course, personal cycles are also taking into consideration. But for instance, a manifester. They're here to initiate, but they're not here to initiate all the time. They have like a incubation period. And then it's almost like they build up the energy, and then boom, they, they feel an urge, and they need to start something, and then their energy winds down. And then there's a lull period. And a lot of times in business, we were taught to follow the momentum, keep going keep feeding the beast. But for them that is actually not useful. For a generator, they have sacral energy, right. But they're also not meant to be an energising Energizer Bunny, who does not burn out at all. It's about following their joy. And sometimes they might hit a plateau, where their sacral is like, ain't responding. Just give me a break before the next thing that could signal that they finish a project or it's time to move on to the next thing. How do they look at these cycles and as a manifesting generator, you might find yourself doing a lot of things at once, and then certain projects or focuses you don't want to do them anymore, and that's completely fine. You're not meant to finish. So how do you know when you've grown into your design? It gives you a sense of like, oh, this is time to slow down. And same as like projectors. They don't have a defined sacral is so their time to guide to step back to wait for the invitation also varies. And a reflector. Those are like the most unique beings because there's only like one to 2% of the entire population. And they operate, or their guidance comes from the moon. It sounds very fluffy. But you know, because the moon cycles through different gates, the 64 gates and like a wellness period, that's where they get their insight, their definition. And, you know, they move at a slightly different pace compared to the rest of the population.
Emily: Yeah, that I've never met a reflector. That would mean either. Yeah, no. Yeah. So fascinating. I love all of us. And so like, I'm curious, and I'm sure other people are as well. It's like, what made you or how did you get into human design? And because having known you, personally, you were in design before, and you were also in kind of coaching yoga space. And in the last year, I would say, maybe a year and a half, and you plummeted and went like really all into human design. Why why humanism
Jess: in it was completely by accident. I love them. Which is, I think, the most interesting thing, because it's also been the most successful part of my business. So I quit my career five years ago, and I was a designer and advertising and I was just so burnt out. And I know, we might talk about that leader. And I was just I wanted to help people come back to themselves as I was trying to come back to myself. So I got into the coaching space, but something about it didn't feel entirely right, because it was health coaching, and I didn't want to just talk about food. And then I also did some yoga to help people you know, get into their bodies, all those little things, as you know, an undefined G centre, I meant to explore many things and adopt many roles. That was validated when I learned about my human design, but I think it was after a lot of healing, I found human design. And I naturally started aligning to myself, even without learning the language of human design and just, you know, show him showing up in a way that felt good for me expressing the things that felt good without thinking about my business without thinking about, you know, engagement. And for some reason, that started to get the most traction. For some reason that started to pick up because I think I was honouring my energetics, I was honouring my poll, I was watching what invitations came in as a projector, what spaces do I actually feel recognise? Because there's another whole thing about being a projection projector and the recognition. I've been in places as a designer that I was recognised for my design skills, but I felt like they never saw the person behind it. And that was like, oh, stay in those places was, I knew it wasn't good for me. But I also didn't know another way to be. So softening into that with sharing about human design, it just started to take off. And now people want to know more about it, or the way that I've shared it. And also, I'm integrating my coaching and yoga skills, like how do we ground all this knowledge? How do we have somatic practices to understand when we're getting a lot of mental anxiety when we amplify those energies, so everything has come full circle? That's so beautiful.
Emily: I think what a lot of people love and why you got a lot of traction as well as you were sharing it as you were discovering it. And so yeah, excited. And people were like, it's not like you're sharing it from like, I'm an expert level. It's kind of like, this is what I'm finding out. And I'm going to share it with you guys. And I think it made it more approachable and also exciting. carried along on that journey with you. Yeah,
Jess: yeah, yeah, definitely. Because I wasn't, if I did it as a business, if I initially I don't think I would have I would have been to in my head, I would be like, You need to get posts. This is how you get engagement because like, it's so easy to get in our heads because we have all this beautiful knowledge. Our minds are not bad. But it's also like, are we tuning our intuition out? Because we're so obsessed and trying to make something happen?
Emily: Yeah. And like, yeah, definitely. And so like during that pivot phase. So would you say you'd hit burnout when you were back in design? And it was quite a long procession of like coming back to you. I don't know. I'm just curious. Like, could you share a little bit about what helped you come back to yourself what what helped you find direction? And are you back home in yourself now?
Jess: Beautiful question. I think it took a lot of surrender. For years. Like I fought it, I fought. I think when we burn out we get into this mental space of obviously shock but also We've worked so hard to get to where we're at. And I'm burned out, I thought I was doing what's good for me. And I'm burned out. So there's a lot of beliefs and mindset that I had attached to that identity that I had to unlearn or at least unpack like, what's the deal? And it was really relearning myself, Who am I when I'm not designing? Who am I, I'm not, I'm not someone's girlfriend, sister. All those things. And it was, at times ugly, because healing is never glamorous, healing can be very painful. And you don't know when you're gonna get out of it. You don't know how much you're gonna heal. I tried to expedite my healing. I had all the healers. I was like, come on, I can do it. I'm better now. I'm better. And then after a few years, I was at a natural path. She's like, you're still on flight or fight mode? I'm like, why? Excuse me? Like, a few hours a day? Like how dare you? Like, how dare you?
Emily: How? Last minute? Okay, can you dive into that? How did she?
Jess: How could she tell? So I was just having like, getting a lot of pimples all the time. I was like, what is it? What are those horns that are coming out on me? And that was the reason I went to her. And I also had benefits from my husband's I'm like, why not? And then she started to see like, no, your body's pretty much on like a hyper mode. And I realised that's the way I've always operated. Growing up, I'm like, Oh, it gets beat up, you know, also like, you know, Asian background having to prove myself to be worthy to be lovable. So all that conditioning was very much in my subconscious, because I did so much conscious work. But I think the sneaky ones, as usual are in the subconscious in our beliefs in the way that we how we are. And I was not someone that was super relaxed.
Emily: So between fight or flight because there's fight flight or freeze, I think there's
Jess: also fun, like, there's a few more I think that they brought up. Wow, there's what for fun, I think it's when you just become super agreeable when you give up your own needs and boundaries, because you definitely not coping.
Emily: I would say I'm the freeze, I kind of like, freeze. And so I know whether or not I want to like, leave or go. But in that space, I'm like, Oh, I don't know what to do that and are you more of a?
Jess: Well, I think I was very much in fighting mode. And I wasn't aware of it. Because I had quit my career. To build this new business. I was pushing so hard to make it successful. At the cost of my own sanity, I was still doing design work just because people came. They kept coming to me. I was like, Sure, why not? I could charge good money. Why not? In my mind, I was like, living the dream. I had freedom. I could travel and work. But in the insights like, I still didn't want to do this. I wasn't coaching. I wasn't making space for it. But I had to believe that I couldn't make money from that. That design was the only way that sneak you believe follow me for a few years.
Emily: It's yeah, yeah, that is a difficult and I think also when you're depending on the people you surround yourself with, as well. Um, and how they think I yeah, I think joining perhaps joining the mastermind was quite expensive for you. So you're like well, you can you could do this and having a group of people who are like you want to do this done. You are this person is yes, you're so right
Jess: about surround because most of the people that I know still and love, they have full time jobs. They don't know what it means to start something from scratch. And sometimes I feel like I'm so privileged to be able to give up something that I hate it while a lot of people are still doing it. But then another part of me is like I worked so hard to get here I am not gonna be like, you know, humbled by or think just because privilege bought me here. I worked my ass off. I don't know if he's, so you got to get to get to this point, because healing is easy, like showing up. Like finding ease is not easy. Ya know? If it's the hardest, like, doesn't mean I just slow down doesn't mean I surrender. No, it's like, do you trust yourself? What are the stories that are coming up? What do we unpack and it can be very ugly down there? If you're like me, so one bottle of a lot of discomfort to try to find success. And I found it, but it wasn't aligned to me.
Emily: Hmm. Oh, that is like the worst kind of success. It's like, empty. Yeah. And feels empty. And you're like yeah, now. And then you're like back to the drawing board. Like what gives me joy? And I think I think yeah, we kind of had a brief conversation before we hit record But it's like, for example, for me this year being in burnout, I, when your energy holds to stop, projects halt to stop, almost, inquiry stop kind of flowing, and just everything kind of stops flowing. When I have to like, really, this is the first time in since the start of my business where I was like, I'm actually really worried, like, really worried. But at the same time, I was enjoying life, like holy shit, like life had not been so beautiful, so adventurous, so like, sort of joy. And I realised that like, when I hit all the figures in my business that I wanted to that previous year, I got to the end of it, and I was like, Great, how do we feel? And it was like, yeah, it was good. Good. And it was kind of like, empty success, like we had, we did the thing. Like, why are we not more stoked, and to be honest, I just felt really tired. And I was like, just want to travel and be around fantastic people. And so even during my, like, burnout phase, when I was I would say I hit rock bottom, like really, I was still allowing myself to just enjoy life to receive joy, and to find that spark against the life. And that was what gave life back to me. And that's how I came back to myself and letting the ocean Yeah, breathe life back into my tired soul. And, and it's just like this idea of like you and you. I think still accept yourself, love yourself and be enough and know that you are enough with that material success. Just because you have joy, that is success. feel joy, you have this most amazing community of people supporting you, that is richness that is that's basically,
Jess: you touch such an important point that I've shared with some clients, because usually, when we hit burnout, we get into immediate Well, at least me in immediate problem solving mode. How do I get out of it? How do I do to heal? Do I need to drink my green juice? Do I need to meditate every day? You know, we are so like, how do we fix this, that we don't know how to soften? How to be because so much of reaching our goals. Sometimes we're so driven that we forget about ourselves, we forget Are we sleeping are we stretching that we find joy today, we're just like, let's hit the goal. And we forget that how we are now is how we'll be when we get there. So now if we're frantic, we're going to carry that same energy there as much as we think we want. As much as our minds like once you hit there, you're gonna be all happy. Now.
Emily: I love this idea of like softening into it and just letting it be. And it's not like you're doing nothing to get yourself out of it. But I think like I'm actually really grateful for there were some hard lessons that I had to learn through that. And now i i basically sparked an entirely like, me restructuring my business from the inside out. Because of that I realised that was unsustainable, but I needed to experience the unsustainability of that for me to actually then change that. And so, icing in disguise. And if you kind of just get yourself out of it, you're just gonna fall back into it until you learn that lesson.
Jess: Oh, yeah, I burn out not just I burn burned out was such a thing. Probably for a few years. And like, Why do I keep burning out because even when I moved away from my full time environment into my own business, I was burnt out because I didn't change my way of being. I was like, hustle, do it now, you know, deadlines. And I was very much not taking myself into consideration while I was building whatever dreams I had. And it's not to say don't follow your dreams. But don't forget about yourself. Bring yourself along for the ride. Are you having fun?
Emily: Absolutely. I love that. Honestly, we could like talk forever. But I just want to say as well if you like Jess has her own podcast. It's called Hollan unleashed. And we also have we also did a podcast episode. Yeah, super early on in that.
Jess: Yes, I was a baby podcaster and you helped me find confidence. Honestly. Think this is such a full circle moment. I feel
Emily: so full circle. And yeah, and it's so interesting, because back then I was like, Oh, that's so amazing. I was so inspired by you starting your own podcast and really like finding confidence. It's in your voice. And I set it as something that I would like to do. But I didn't feel confident enough to deal with this impostor syndrome, or who am I, to do this. And I think this year when I didn't have a lot of projects, I was like, hey, my soul really wants to create this. I just felt something born from from passion. And I don't know, just follow that. And it's been so amazing. I've learned so much from that. And just feeling more and more confident in my voice and sharing people's stories. And yeah, and I know you share some incredible stories over on your podcast as well. So I just wanted to share that with the listeners.
Jess: Oh, thank you season two is coming to a wrap. Another thing that I've learned is that my energy slows down during fall and winter, it's like for a lot of people. But I find that I am more pulled to do other things. So I'm conscious now because the first year I did not wrap it up, and I just stopped abruptly. It was like, I don't have energy, and I could not bring myself to do it. So now I'm like, heads up a few more weeks. And you know, the next season will come when it comes.
Emily: I love that. So good. Yeah, I think that's important. And it takes a while to like, acknowledge your energy in there, and, but however you are, you have an exciting project that you're launching soon. And I just I'm really excited for you. I'm really excited to tell people about it. For those of you who are interested in learning more about human design. So Jess, like if you're a complete newbie, she has like an Introduction Guide to human design, which you can find on our website. It's like, I think 10 to $15 mrhs. Yeah.
Jess: And it's like a study 70 page booklet to introduce you to ease you into it because
Emily: it's a 70 page booklet.
Jess: Yes, I got excited. There's also some like energy and grounding like, you know, bringing everything that I am into consideration help orient themselves to the part of me see this, let's apply
Emily: it amazing. That is like a massive introduction into human design. And I actually another thing she you also offer one on one readings still no, yes. One. I was fascinating. If you want to like just deep dive into your own human design and how you work, whether it's for business or with a partner. She like, dissects your entire life chart. And it's like looking at life giving as yours just like, that's why that's why. So I do this. So good. Oh, went back. Um, okay. And then for those of those of you who are like, you already know about human design, you're like, Oh, I really want to dive deep into this. Um, can you tell us a little bit about this exciting container that you're launching? proceeded? Yes. It's called coming
Jess: home. That was like my journey in the past couple of years. But this is a three month experience into the centres, gates and channels and human design, where we go into each understand how this energy flows. So we can orient it back to your chart and see how you show up. How does that energy feel for you and help you decondition recalibrate, come back to yourself, because so much of learning about this has been useful, but being in community around others. I think that was the final piece of the puzzle that helped me like integrate the knowledge, but also, she will make friends as you do that as we become more ourselves. So I'm very excited. It's launching in January 2023. And you can sign up until maybe mid December, December. I'll send you the information.
Emily: Yeah, amazing. You can find the links down in the show notes below. Yeah, well, we'll definitely link them down below. Amazing. So one last question. Jess, you've been so generous with your time thank you. I asked all my guests this question. What does it mean to live a free world and soulful
Jess: life be? Such a beautiful question, like every question you've asked, but how does it feel? Or what does it look like? Oh, what are some? I'm like feeling something so I'm trying to describe it looks expensive. It looks permission given to live a life that is truly aligned to me without feeling guilty or ashamed, you know, without all the weight that sometimes societal pressure adds on us. It's just looks very expensive and warm.
Emily: Do you feel like you are living a free well and soulful life? Or do you feel like there are some aspects that you could feel more aligned? Oh, actually,
Jess: I think it's the mindset that even though there are so many things I want to do. I'm so content where I am, I am at home, I'm at peace. And yes, I want a lot more things. But I don't feel that I'm missing something until I reached there. I feel I'm rooted in the moment. That's
Emily: so beautiful. Ah, I love that for you. That is like the most beautiful way to end this in the most beautiful answer. Thank you.
Jess: Thank you for having me, Emily, it was such a pleasure talking to you.
Emily: I am so grateful to have people like Jess in my life, and to be able to have conversations like these. And actually just reminded me that when Jess has her own podcast, which I will link below, and we actually did an episode together for her. I think it was back in 2020. And so if you're curious to hear where I was end of 2020, and my journey having just in my year one of starting my business, you can go to her podcast episode. I will link that down below. And yeah, thank you so much for your airtime.
And I would love to hear from you. What resonated with you the most? Did you find this fascinating? Are you going to dive a little bit deeper into human design? And yeah, reach out to me on Instagram at Emily Palin. And I'd love to hear what your human design is. It's certainly been a super useful tool for me in structuring my days and my my lifestyle around it, so I hope you find it resourceful as well. Have a beautiful day, my friends, and I'll see you in the next episode. Stay well stay adventurous. Ciao.
