#14: My 3 Secrets Behind Learning And Master A Language (Or Any Skill) Quickly
Episode Shownotes
Have you ever tried to learn a language, a new skill or hobby—only to never get past the beginner level?
Did you ever wonder how you could be resourceful enough to start a business, but not master Spanish?
In this podcast episode, I share the most common theme of successful language learners: obsession. While your upbringing or background can play a factor, it’s rarely the determining element of your sticking power. A strong why, however, is crucial.
When the perfectionist strikes, and when you make mistakes, your why will carry your forward through the tough times. Real-life immersion paired with a passion for learning will always reward every adventurer, whether the WHY is a connection to a partner’s family, a new home or life opportunities.
There’s always more to learn, so what’s going to move the needle towards your goal? This podcast shares the three secrets I have used to learn languages and master skills in six months or less.
“If traditional learning isn't working, try another way. The important thing is to pay attention to the right things.”
Let’s continue the conversation at https://www.instagram.com/emilypeilan/
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Episode Transcript
Obsessed. Are you obsessed with the skill you're trying to learn? Do you have a deep enough why that will pull you through when the going gets tough?
Hello, hello, welcome back to a another solo episode. In this today's episode, I wanted to touch on how to learn and master a skill or a language quickly. And I often get people surprised that I learned German, I was went from basically nothing to having conversations within six months. And Spanish, I would say when I actually concentrated my efforts, I had been trying on and off to learn it for three years.
And in the end, when I actually concentrated my efforts, I learnt it and went from zero fluency not even be able to have a conversation to having deep conversations in three months.
And people are like, wow, you just have a gift for it. You're so talented, you must like, I don't know, just being naturally talented at it. And I'm like, No, I really don't think I am because I tried for three years trying to learn this language. And I kind of got nowhere and and so I got me thinking like what, what was it that finally pushed me over to to then suddenly learn so quickly?
And, and originally, this episode is gonna be like, you know, if you travel a lot, you're a digital nomad. Like how can you learn and master a language quickly. And then I was I was writing things down, I was like, well, actually, this applies to any skill. Like, that's how I learned coding, you know, for websites, I learned in like, I don't know, half a year a year. And I mastered that. And the reasons for my success, and be able to master these skills quickly, they all had a common theme.
That's kind of what I wanted to touch on today. And one of them is this idea of like obsession and being absolutely fucking obsessed with the thing that you're wanting to learn. So kind of, you know, there are instances where people, certain people have an upper hand, for example, I will say that I grew up surrounded by already three to four dialects of Chinese. And so learning how to switch from dialect to dialect, depending on who I was talking to, was like my entire life, my childhood basically.
So, I'm quite used to being able to switch and having lots of different phonetics in my head, I suppose. I also travel a lot, I was exposed to different languages from a really young age. And even though I didn't learn many of the language as a child, my subconscious, I think, secretly stirred them away. And it expanded my phonetic vocabulary.
But I also think it made, it gave me the perspective of understanding that English isn't the only language. And that when I shift from language to language, it requires a completely different way of thinking it's a different, different identity almost as well that you take on and it's different that you're not you can't translate word for word, you have to really embody the culture and body, the language for it to actually come out.
Naturally, if that makes sense. I was really lucky that I went to a very academic school, so learning languages was highly valued. I, we everybody did a little bit of Japanese, a little bit of German, a little bit of French, and then you could choose later on if you wanted to progress in one of those. And so I actually opted to go a little bit deeper into German and French.
However, when I actually in my university years when I did an Erasmus semester, like an exchange to Vienna and Austria, and they speak German there, and I was like, great, I can put all my German skills that I learned in high school to use and I realised I knew nothing. Nothing came out. It was quite embarrassing.
So I would actually say it felt like I was starting from zero, even though sure I had a few basics up my sleeve, a few like grammar things that I knew a lot had a bit of the structure. But really, it felt like I was starting from zero. And so yeah, like, let's start with, you know, German, within six months of being in Vienna studying there. I also had a German boyfriend at the time, whose family like they speak English, but like, they prefer not to speak English. And I really wanted to Yeah, just like connect with them in their language.
I had my drive, my obsession was was wanting to connect with, with my boyfriend, with his family, with his friends. And this strong desire to connect. Oh, it was what overcame the grammatical horrors of the German language. It was, it was really there's a lot of anyone who's like study German, there's a lot of grammar, and a lot to kind of take in.
For me, I thought, okay, grammar isn't so important, you know, be able to read and write like, it's also important, what I really want to be able to do is to just like have hot hot conversation with people. And so I kind of very early on just ditched the textbooks and the grammar books and all that shit. never learned German, actually, not never, but like, never really learned German, properly. Like through school, we had a few classes at university, I dropped out after the fourth lecture, because it was such a waste of my time.
It was just not how I learned. I mean, I learned more by going to a village. And just speaking to some shopkeepers in Java. And I learned more through that than I did sitting in the classroom speaking English basically. So, so yeah, after so had that obsession, I had the really strong why. And then on top of that, I learned to pay attention to the right things. Like there's a difference in spoken versus written German.
So the way people write is usually a little bit more formal. But the way people say things conversationally, kind of like slang, or, yeah, just, it's a lot more chill, people drop certain ends of some words, and they mesh certain things up. And it sounds very quite different to how you actually learn it through the grammar books at school. And so I from a very early stage paid attention to how pupils actually speak to each other on a casual basis, because that's what I wanted to be able to do.
I didn't care to be able to write job descriptions or anything like that. I just wanted to have heart to heart conversations with people. And so I learned to pay attention to the right things, the accents. I distinguished very early on, like, what Viennese accent was like, I adopted a Viennese accent, and all the final words that comes with the Austrian accent, and dialect, so. And then when I moved to Germany and worked at a cafe, I very quickly switched over to like Hawk Deutsch.
So learning how to speak like a German word. And paying close attention to even the regional dialect as well. And the most important thing, I suppose, as well, I mean, all three are important, but like, just doing it. And of course, at the start, I was like, oh, like, I'm so shy, because I'm making so many mistakes. But you have to make the mistakes, you actually learn by doing. And I made so many hilarious mistakes, because German is such a literal language.
I would try to translate things from English to German. And so many of my German friends would laugh at me because they're like, you. You can't say that or I will you just made up a word that doesn't exist. Or Emily, you just said something that completely doesn't make sense. And we had a lot of laughs and you just have to laugh it off. Because I mean, you're learning and I think people appreciate the fact that you're learning anyway.
If you're making a mistake of anyone's giving you like real shit for I don't know trying to speak their language then they're just an asshole because you're trying and you are a allowed to make mistakes and you're allowed to keep learning. So really, the more mistakes you make, the faster you learn. Because usually, it's an embarrassing event, everybody laughs and you remember that and you're like, I'll never fucking made that mistake again.
So I think I learned really quickly that way as well. And yeah, so that those kind of three main tips, three main focus points was was kind of what carried over to Spanish as well, although I wasn't quite aware of of that. Until now. Like upon reflection, I was like, Oh, why did it take me so long to learn Spanish and in the end, it was like, I had an obsession and emotional desire to, to really learn Spanish I had.
You know, this is like, TMI, but I had a lover who spoke Spanish and didn't speak English. And we, I wanted to connect with him. And I, we were, I was speaking really broken Italian slash Spanish. And it was just miscommunication problems. And it was hilarious as a bit of a shitshow.
We had a really funny and good time. But at some point, I wanted to be able to connect with him on a deeper level, and more intellectually as well share stories. And I had a really strong emotional desire to to learn the language, so I could then connect with him and more people. And so that was, that was my obsession.
And then from that, I just had to do it. Like, I was fucking up so many times, I would make so many mistakes, I would say way too many Italian words and get my tenses wrong and get my conjugations wrong. And I had no idea what well, what the shit I was saying half the time. And yet, I did it anyway. And I just tried. And through trial and error, and kind, loving feedback, I progressed super, super quickly.
Because when you care a lot about your the skill that you're learning, and you have a really deep emotional connection to it. And you have a really strong why you also start unconsciously, but consciously paying attention to the right things. And for me, it was like, the, the accent, the vocal cords, the way it sounds, the tonality, the ups and the downs.
The rhythm of it, and that, for me, is important to me. Because, yeah, I don't want to speak another language with just an English accent. Like I really want to speak up well, and connect with people through speaking at like a local, so it was really important for me to pay attention to those things. \
It's funny, because now people, people say I've got an Argentinian accent when I speak Spanish. And they're like, Did you live in Argentina or something like that? And I'm like, No, I've never even been to the country. And they're like, How the fuck do you have an Argentinian accent I just have to laugh because I don't know I love it. I personally love it. It's like this beautiful mix between Italian and in Spanish.
It has so much personality has so much flair. It's just soft, that also dynamic and it feels it's the personality that I want to have in this particular language.
So I intentionally chose that for myself. And because I love the accent, I love the personality, the identity I get to infuse myself when I when I speak it. It just made it even more like I know there was even more of an emotional connection to learning this language mastering it. But I am by no means close to mastering it.
Like I said, I did grammar books and lectures traditional classroom things. So I make a lot of mistakes grammatically, I think but but I can have conversations, which is a bonus. And even if you did learn the traditional way, and you like you you conceptually understand, you know what it is someone might be saying but then when they actually say it in their accent or their dialect or whatever.
It just all goes out the window anyway, you know, like I remember heard someone say, basically they were asking me like, Oh, what did you do today? Obviously, there's like such an easy thing to if someone wrote it down, obviously, I understand it, but because they said it to me, and it was in a Chilean accent, he was like Casey's story and asked like, what Purandara? What did you say in is it Casey story? And I was like, I have no idea what you just said. And basically say, Casey story, like, what did you do today? And I was like, Oh, that was such a killer to the ego as I've been learning this.
I thought I understood basic Spanish. And I didn't even understand like this basic question of like, what did you do today? And so sometimes I really feel like real life experiences real life conversations with people from different parts of Latin America and Spain with different accents and dialects, like, that is the best way. And really the only way you can really master a language.
If you don't have access to people, or you're not in that country, then Netflix, man, YouTube, there are so many. I mean, for me, I watched a lot of Netflix, in Spanish, different different accents, different parts of Spain and Latin America, and really just trying to expose myself to as much phonetics, you could say, or many, as many accents as possible. And I think that's really helped me to then now be able to have conversations with most people and understand most people when they speak Spanish.
So yeah, rounding this often tying this idea of like learning and mastering a language to any skill:
#1 You must have is an obsession and a really deep emotional desire to mastering it.
And, for example, I've had people who are like, Oh, I really want to learn Italian, let's learn Italian. And then I'm okay, cool. So like, what? Why do you want to learn Italian, and they're like, oh, because it sounds cool. And I want to sound cool and sexy and get the girls. And I'm like, I don't know if that's going to be a strong enough Wi Fi here. And in the end, it wasn't and they they didn't, this person didn't end up, you know, learning and mastering Italian well. And so I think without it, it's not going to pull you through the those tough days, when you have a lot of things going on.
You need to commit to lots of different things, you're not going to commit to this, if it's not high enough on your priority list. Right.
#2 Make mistakes. It’s non-negotiable.
So many people are so afraid of like failing, making mistakes. And a lot of people I know people who have like passed speed to see one level, German, and yet they can't have a conversation in German. And I never did any such tests until recently.
I always was scared that I would fail these tests, because I'm really good at speaking, but I'm terrible at grammar. But it's just like, you just have to do it and make mistakes. And also understand how you learn as well. Yeah, so with anything, you can translate that to coding, for example, like, there's a bunch of different ways you could code for a website, for example, and you learn by doing you keep making mistakes, you're like, oh, this could be better next time.
The more mistakes you make, the quicker you learn, really that is the case with everything.
#3 know what to pay attention to
The third most important thing is to pay attention to the right things or like the most important things, and I think a lot of people actually, this is where they kind of not screw up but delays they're learning because we have certain curriculums or people who tell us it's really important that you learn the the grammatical little nitty gritty things of this particular case.
That's not really the most important thing is it now, you know, like no one really cares if you use a masculine dare with the feminine Now, you know, like, I think it's important for you to judge write down know, for yourself, like, what is your goal, and what are the most important things you need to focus on, like, take away what people tell you should focus on. And know, for yourself like this, I learned this particular way.
Therefore, this is what I should pay attention to. And from a language perspective, it's like the tonality, the rhythm, the sound, the vocal cords, like even just the throat positioning, like different languages, use different parts of the throat, and being able to figure that out, and also the way people's mouths move. And the just being really highly attuned to accents. And the words people use, like the kind of slang terms, and those are the really important things that you should be focusing on or you know, that you should be focusing on, if your goal is to be able to have conversations with locals.
And if that's not then your goal, then, you know, reassess, like what are the right things for you to pay attention to, for example, where to take the coat, you know, website design, development, coding example, learning that there are so many things that I could have learned, and it's quite a never ending, deep rabbit hole of things you could learn.
And so for me, I had to, you know, know, for myself, like, what is my goal here? What do I want to achieve?
And it was basically like, How can I code in the most efficient and effective way and in a way that is easy for my clients to create, recreate the special effects without them themselves having to go into code.
So the things I pay attention to shortcuts, really smart and clever ways of saving myself time saving my clients time, and, and finding patterns and things. So I only had a code at once, instead of three, five times the same thing for three different things when I could have just gathered them all into one. So like, and when I'm watching these videos, or going through a course, I'm looking for things that, like, contribute to saving me time, and contribute to me actually, actually moving the needle towards my end goal.
So I hope you found that episode. Well, the tips helpful. This was a bit of an impromptu one, but I thought it was a fun one. And I've always been asked, you know, like, how did you learn your language so quickly, and I never really dissected that.
But hopefully, this was a interesting insight into how I think and how I learn every one is different. So this is these are just the things that I focused on that really helped me that really helped me like learn quickly and master skills and languages within like three to six months, so let me know what your biggest takeaway was.
If you're currently learning a language or a skill, you have something to add to this and something that really helps you that perhaps I didn't mention. Feel free to share. Send me a DM at Emily Palin on Instagram. And yeah, let's keep the conversation going on over there. And I look forward to being back with another episode super soon. Have a beautiful day out renewing my friends!
