#13: Leaving Corporate For Spirituality and Healing From Grief (w/ Kerry Ferber)
Episode Shownotes
Is your desire to expand bigger than your desire to stay where you are?
Our guest today, Kerry Ferber, is an energy healer, soul guide, grief guide, and spiritual life coach.
In this episode of the podcast, she shares her inspiring story of transformation. Her career started in corporate life, and she is now allowing herself to be seen as the truest self in her own business—but this has not come without challenge.
Her story begins with overextending her energy, the consequence of no boundaries, and burnout, which many people can relate to. She then allows us into her experience of losing loved ones, in particular her father, and how this changed the trajectory of her life.
We discuss all things holding space for others, grounded grieving—her grief programme, spiritual awakenings and not dulling your light. This is for the humans who are ready to be seen in their full expression of their gifts or are curious about how others have transitioned to an intuitively led path.
“Trust the timing of your life”
Let’s continue the conversation at https://www.instagram.com/emilypeilan/
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Episode Transcript
Hello, hello, welcome back to a another guest episode. So today we have Kerry Ferber as our guest. She's actually a client of mine and one of my favorite clients just because she's such a sweet soul. And we have just the most beautiful, deep conversations about about life. And I really wanted to bring her on today, because she has an incredibly inspiring story. And she's been through such big shifts in her life recently. And when she reached out to, to work with me on her website, she had recently just left her corporate job in the HR department, her father had recently passed away, and she was moving through a lot of grief, she was on her own healing journey on her own spiritual path and spiritual awakening as well.
And now she is on the other side, she is facilitating her own grounded grieving sessions she's helped she helps people move through grief, she is also an energy healer, reiki master, she has a gift for helping those who are feeling perhaps misaligned in life. And, and guiding people through this transition phase. So in this episode, we start from what led her to shifting from corporate life to spiritual healing. And this transition phase between being employed, having steady income and then moving to starting your own business starting from scratch and all the challenges and trials of being a solopreneur. But also, you know, what was the deeper why or the purpose that really pushed her through, to get to keep continuing doing the work that she does, and why she decided to offer grounded grieving, and help herself and now others heal from grief, how to deal with it and deal with death?
And also, just from a business perspective, what helped her grow the most? Was it people mentors, courses? What were some of the best investments she made in her business, because being a solopreneur, say, in the energy healing, spiritual space a lot of people think you can't make money from. And we definitely wanted to shine some light on the business aspect of of the industry that she's in. And lastly, yeah, we just love touching on some of the limiting beliefs that she's had to let go of, and the mindset that she's had to grow into in order to be a successful business owner in this space, and have the positive impact on the people that she does. So really inspiring story. I hope you enjoy it. And I'll see you on the other side. All right, Kerry, welcome on to the freelancers. podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I'm super excited to dive into your story.
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Yeah. So. So Kerry, do you want to just you know, give us an overview, in your words, like, what do you currently do when people ask you this question? Like? Yeah,
Yes, so I am an energy healer, a soul guide. I'm a spiritual life coach. And I'm also a grief guide. So I work with those who are currently experiencing layers of grief, and helping them kind of move through those denser emotions to feel more reconnected to themselves and their loved ones in spirit.
Hmm, so beautiful. And because so Kerry and I, we've been we've known each other for about two years now kind of working together. And I've had the privilege of just witnessing her grow and evolve as a human as a business. And when we first started she, she had just left her job in the corporate world, no, as an HR like in human resources. Yeah, so just for those who don't know your story, like obviously you didn't start off knowing that this is your sole purpose and that this is what you want. Do you started off somewhere very different? So kind of like walk us through where were you before? What? What made you leave the HR world?
Yeah, I love this question. And so I was working in human resources for about seven over seven years. And during that time, I was just extremely burnt out, I overextended my energy, like, you wouldn't believe I had no boundaries, I was just like, totally not in balance, harmony or alignment with my own energy with my own desires, out of the life that I wanted to live, I really loved supporting human beings in the workplace, knowing that the workplace is where we spend, you know, the majority of our lives, for better or worse. And so I really felt super passionate about being able to support those in the corporate, various corporate settings that I worked in HR over those seven years. And that, that lit me up, but the inner workings of the nine to five, and just some of the, you know, working for the man working for someone else kind of kept like, looming over me in a way that I didn't feel like I had, you know, freedom. So, that is kind of my experience in the HR world in the sense of looking back. But I will say, I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur, I tried to tell my parents that I was not going to college that I was just going to start my own business, it was going to be like a, you know, a trinket shop or like a flower shop. And that did not fly. But I did end up going to college at a wonderful university that had a great entrepreneurial program and a great business school. And that is kind of what I pursued for my undergraduate degree. And eventually, I hit a point where I wanted that freedom. So I did end up leaving my HR role moved to a new city, registered my LLC here in the States, got the business going. And that business was basically HR consulting for small businesses, I kind of was just going to use what I already knew what experience I already had, and just enter the business entrepreneurial space with that. So that was the that was the original start of my, my business or at all pivoted wow, I
Okay, so and when you left the the HR world did you have this kind of, did you have some money, a buffer? Kind of? Yeah, you know, saved up so that you gave yourself that buffer? And okay, so you were in USANA? You're an LLC as an HR consulting. How long did that last before you pivoted massively?
Yes. So let's see, basically, I, I would say, well, I'll give you a little bit of a timeline. I had my business launch party at my apartment, the first weekend of January and 2020 for this HR consulting business, and then less than three weeks after that business launch party. Unfortunately, my dad passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly, and I was appointed his executor for his will and estate. So I basically had to table this newly launched HR consulting business dive headfirst into the executor role and kind of all of the duties and responsibilities and the honor of closing out my dad's life on this earth. So that took most of my 2020 It really is kind of a full time job being an executor. But during that time, I, I was going through a lot of personal transformation, which death absolutely can bring about. And so I was not actively working on my business in 2020. It's pretty much like I launched the business to about two and a half weeks later all of this all of this change. And so I never actually had any, any clients in this HR business. Before I basically had a whole, you know, shift in, in connecting to my soul and connecting to my gifts and connecting to what I really wanted to do and what impact I wanted to make on this on this plane and completely pivoted my entire business to energy healing and life coaching.
And so what I'm curious about is like, how do you already before, before you left corporate before your dad passed? Have you really done some of this work? Or was it that it kind of come about and you went much more deeper into this work? Because of your dad's passing?
Yeah, I guess, I would say I started my spiritual awakening of sorts in 2017. When I first got introduced to Reiki, that was a game changer for me. And so I had, I went through my own awakening experience of sorts, connecting with energy connecting with nature in a whole new way. And connecting with my my true soul, self and a whole new way. It wasn't until my dad passed where I really had like a whole other level of transformation, relating to like, the depth of how energy works and the soul and the spirit of our loved ones. And yeah, in short, it started before my dad passed, but only kind of revealed itself even more after his passing, for sure.
What to the people who might not be familiar with Reiki? Could you explain that? Like, what what is Reiki? And how does it work? And why? Why do so many people do it? Why is it so yeah, transformative?
Yes, I love this. So, Reiki is a non invasive energy healing technique, which basically channels life, force, energy, into the mind, body, and spirit of of you. So your mental body, your physical body, your emotional body, your auric field, get kind of cleansed with this divine loving energy that gets channeled out of my hands. And on to the clients. Bodies, the mental, the physical, and the emotional bodies to provide value basically rest, relaxation, rejuvenation, healing, and harmony, of just feeling more aligned and connected to their they're all parts of them, if that makes sense. So, I do everything remotely though. So I do occasionally do in person energy healing in person Reiki, where I am physically touching my hands on to certain chakra or energy points of the person's body. But most of my work is all virtual and works in the quantum field. To basically make its way energy is vibration and makes its way to the actual body of of the person wherever they are in the world. And I am kind of using my own table on my end and visioning, where their body is energetically laying down. And, yeah, the energy just flows, energy flows where intention goes and so Reiki is just one of those modalities that just channeled lifeforce energy to feel more aligned, relaxed, connected, and supported in in this life.
Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, I remember because I did a session with Kerry. I think it was last year. No. Yeah. It was like yes, yeah. And I was like, I'm one of those people who was quite skeptical of like, okay, like, how does this work? Like, how does like energy break? Yeah. And it was so funny, because during the session, and I remember you playing some music and I was lying down and had my eyes closed. And I actually felt warmth like a good feel. Like pools of warm energy, you could say kind of like around my, my stomach, my gut, and then also down at my feet. And I was like, Okay, I'm gonna have to like remind myself to ask Kerry later, if she was like somewhere in those places. And turns out you were, and we had a debrief of the session afterwards. And it was just like, so mind blowing what you, like, could see what you like, saw in your visions, as you were kind of going up and down my body and where you lingered on. And I just thought, wow, like, I can't explain this. But it was beautiful. And I almost fell asleep, actually. Yeah, yeah. It's such a beautiful experience.
Yeah. I love that. I love that. Because, yeah, there's stuff happening on both sides. So you know, you could be experiencing something, whether that's tingling, or warmth, or just sensations or even visions or colors. And then I'm also seeing an envisioning things on my end, and it's a beautiful coming together at the, at the end during the debrief portion to chat about, Hey, what did you feel? What was that experience? Like? And then I have, I have a slew of notes. I always have a slew of so many notes to share, which I just think is beautiful. And it can be just a really, really powerful session, and I loved your session. Of course, I remember it. So it was a joy to hold space for you am.
Thank you. Yeah, it was, it was really cool. It was really special to have that debrief. For sure. And it's not just like the the actual energy healing part, but like, the two and two coming together, and talking about it with someone that held space for you. So yeah, I love that. And so are you. Are you still? Are you still offering Reiki sessions at the moment?
I am. Yes, I have one off sessions. Yeah, they're an hour and a half. Because they just are so potent. And there's so much that comes through. But yes, I do. I do still offer them using cool.
And so obviously, so in those last two years, you have pivoted so much. I'm curious to hear from you. Actually, what were like some of the toughest challenges to navigate. That might be like, mindset, or also just like business side of things vertical. Yeah. Well, I'm just curious to hear what they were for you.
I love this question. And I think that's the main thing that comes to mind for my personal journey. And I would be really curious if you can relate to this as well, I think quite a few entrepreneurs can but was, was really me realising where I had been playing small, and where I had been hiding myself from the world and from my gifts and from my expression of those gifts. And of my light, really, like I had been kind of dwelling that down and kind of, I don't know, so, so insecure, very anxious. Definitely a very anxious child. But all that to say is like, in this entrepreneurial journey, you you have to allow yourself to be seen, and you have to allow yourself to be seen by yourself first. And that was kind of a big game changer for me. Seeing myself as an entrepreneur, seeing myself as someone who has this much freedom and I get to dictate, you know, my schedule and all of those things. And also, you know, the the other side is just like holy smokes wow, I have a website I'm literally now being seen online. I have social media.
And so it just kind of unpacking all of those layers of around feeling safe to be seen by yourself and feeling safe to be seen only by the by the world and your clients and loved ones and family and all of the things I think I'm still I'm working through some layers, definitely nowhere near the depth of the layers that I had before but that has been my biggest kind of growth point. Yeah, can you relate to that at all?
Oh, so much so much I think for because it is the when you do start your own business. It is so much you can't hide everything is on you, you take full responsibility of everything. And and it is also this like you, you don't realise how many limiting beliefs you have, until you start your own business. And you're like, Oh, I had a whole treasury of those, like, just from what other people say, from just your entire childhood growing up, things you hear, and you think you can't do this, or you can't do that, you're not worthy of receiving this or you're not deserving of that. You couldn't possibly do X, Y, Zed, and all of these thoughts are have been passed down. And we don't even question them sometimes. Right? And answer for me, one of my biggest challenges, just in my three years of business is like letting go of beliefs that no longer serve me.
Yeah, so many. And so I think, yes, I'd love to hear from you like, what is one or two? Have many you want to dive into? What were some of like, the biggest limiting beliefs you kind of found you had to let go of so that you could finally do the work that you're doing now?
Hmm. I love this question. And I'm gonna sit with this for a second, because I think it's all the things that you said, that you just mentioned, and just so much conditioning in our society that we do not even, yes, ancestral, but conditioning and the world that we live in, currently, around just all of the shoulds love, like, I should be building a business this way, I should be doing XYZ with my time or I like or even just marketing shoulds of like, I need to be, you know, on Instagram every day, churning out value for free. Like there's a there's a lot of like, I guess it would just be all of the shoulds in and, and realigning with what you actually want to create, in your experience being an entrepreneur. So as being a creator, being on this planet, like we are co creating with our businesses every day, we're co creating with that, that consciousness of our business every every day. And we get to create that not not the, you know, the programming, but conditioning of our world, and specifically the business entrepreneurial space, and just allowing yourself to free flow into what feels aligned for you. And that's going to be where your magnetism comes in. That's going to be where you're in your mojo, you're in your flow that that is where the juice is truly.
Absolutely. And I think an on the other hand, as well, it's like, so many people, it's like, work is like a work.
It's almost as if like the energetic exchange of working is money, but you can't like you. I feel like there are very few people who love what they do. And it's almost like you that you couldn't possibly do what you love, enjoy it and made a lot of money from it. That's the crux of it. Or it's like if you can then it's not, then I don't know, it's interesting. I sometimes I get I still feel a bit funny. Like, I still feel a bit funny about that. I'm just deeply enjoying what you do, making an impact. really making a difference and having fun and allowing yourself to receive this and exchange in exchange for that energetic exchange. No. And absolutely, that's a concept that I think I took me a long time to get my head around. I was just like, I remember the first time I got paid to do a website. I was like, No way. Like, I can't believe I just got $350 USD to have fun to nerd out on and create this beautiful website. You know, I couldn't believe it. I was like lacking out luckiest girl in the world.
Totally, totally. Well, and to your point here, it's like, we the worthiness piece of like, Am I worthy of living this life? doing what I love? There's, there's so much to unpack there for sure.
Absolutely. One of the things that helped me in my business growth was finding the right mentors, and also just investing in my own growth in my own learning, whether that be like online courses or masterminds, or outsourcing and hiring people, experts in their fields. i Yeah. And I'd love to hear from you. Like, what were some of the biggest things that you found helped you in your growth in the last two, three years?
I love this because I truly, I had a let's see, I have had a business coach. And or a life I am hiring a life coach for myself. That's lots of Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. Like I don't I'm trying to think it really in the past two and a half years at Yeah, I guess close to three years, I have never not had a coach or business coach holding space. For me. I think I've like continuously kept that going with different mentors, different guides, that I felt drawn to work with at the time, but truly like, it is integral to me to have someone holding space for me, as I am holding space for others. I love. It's a game changer. Game Changer.
So I love that we've gone down this route. This is unintended, but I love it. Because it's like, okay, so obviously, for people who are business owners like it's, it's a game changer. What about just like people who aren't like just people who are working a normal nine to five job or just anybody really? What do you think that that would be beneficial as well? Because I absolutely, yeah, because I didn't start seeing the benefits of it really felt like I needed one. And I started my own business, and realise I had a lot of shit to move through. What?
Yes, yes, yes. Because you are. Yeah, I mean, the entrepreneurial space is unique, where all of that stuff gets gets charged up, you're, quote unquote, alone, if you're a solopreneur, like trying to figure out all the things, but it's equally as beneficial for any human being on this planet, I believe. You know, there are people out there who, you know, go the life coaching route. And there are some people who go the traditional therapy route. And then there are some people who go both routes they have their psychologist, psychiatrist and their life coach. So everyone has a different approach. But I do think specifically the life coaching world, you know, for the most part is really working with you coming back into alignment, you coming back to your own inner knowing you coming back to your own gifts and your life. That seems to be my personal opinion of the distinction. But I feel like any, any person walking this planet during these wild, wild times right now could certainly benefit from someone holding space for them as we're all trying to navigate all of the changes happening right now on the planet.
Totally. And I think one of the biggest distinctions because I don't know, I tend to just like, have a lot of friends or clients as well, coaches. And I think over time, I've made this distinction, whereas like, perhaps therapists, psychologists, they are more on the scientific side, like kind of see it as like, kind of hard evidence based science, like we had this case. This is what worked so we will, you know, follow this procedure. Whereas for I think, life coaches or just coaches that are not in that scientific realm, not that it's not scientific, but it's more like to do with asking the right questions and I'm really holding space for that person to then be able to dive deeper into themselves and earn a knowing. And I think that is, for me personally, I think that's where the magic is. Right. But you know, each to their own, like, they're opposing totally Yeah. But I think yeah, that that like asking the right questions is like, I love that key. It is.
And I think asking the right questions takes curiosity. And usually, I will say, you know, most of my clients have to be curious about themselves curious about the world curious to like it. It's that there's that quote, and I might botch it, but it's like, if you want to be interesting, be interested. Yeah. And I think that's just so interesting of a quote. Because if we want to be interest, interesting, and just like, our own world, we just have to be interested in ourselves interested in others interested in this human existence. And that takes that intentional curiosity. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like the people who have done coaching before or, you know, had mentorship at a life coach had a business coach, we become obsessed, because we know and have felt, yes, I've experienced this massive, massive transformation.
It's like mind blowing, like how transformative this work is. But there are so many people who look at it very sceptical, sceptically, or they don't really believe in it, or they think it won't work for them. There are so many people, I think, a problem also being like, people don't like to admit that they have a problem that they need help. And there's this kind of like, ride that feels like, oh, I should be able to overcome this myself, and not kind of wanting to invest in this area. But I think it's so important. And so it's kind of like to these people, like, well, what would you Yeah, what would you say to people who are like, kind of considering it, but aren't quite sure if it's worth going all in?
Yeah, yeah. And I've been there, like, I would say that I've been there. And, you know, definitely, I probably could have used some someone holding space for me during my HR life, let's say, but in general, I, I hear you it there's so much to unpack, even in that first, quote unquote, investment of working with someone in that capacity. And I would, I think it's really like, I am worthy of investing in myself. Like, I think it's easy for us sometimes to be like, Oh, I'll, I'll pay for a therapist, I will go to therapy, whether that's covered by insurance or not, we can like mentally, logically justify, okay, for this period of time, I'll, you know, be able to talk to someone, I find that it's harder for people to make the same mental justifications with, with life coaches, which I think is so interesting, I guess I would just say, you're either open to taking the explorative leap, or you're not open at that point in time. And that's okay. If you're not, if you're not open to kind of experiencing and exploring that kind of self discovery, right now. I hope that there will be a time that that might heed your call at some point. But it takes that openness, it takes the curiosity it takes the the, like, desire to expand to be bigger than the desire to stay where you're at. Whoo.
I love that. Yes, yeah. Yes, I'm gonna take that quote. And I like that. That is exactly yeah, exactly that. And I think for me, personally, that's been one of the biggest, most valuable investments I've made in myself in my business.
Yeah, for sure. Same, same thing. am yeah, okay, and what what are what are some of the other like? I don't know, in your Yeah. What would you say are some of your other best investments you've made in both yourself personally? And your business growth?
Yeah, I think, a coaching for sure. For myself. I did go to traditional therapy as well after my dad passed, which was very helpful as well. I think I mean, from the business side of things. Number one, numero uno was investing in my amazing, wonderful, beautiful web site. Who designed that real and that was my first business investment. Truly, that was my first business investment. For my newly pivoted business, yes, yeah. Yeah. And it was a game changer for me. In what way? Oh,
I think it kind of goes back to what I was saying earlier of, like, I started to see myself fully in this light in this way, in this angle, with like, a really beautiful stellar website, there was something about seeing it where I was like, Whoa, this is real. I'm doing this. And this is like, this is this is me. I mean, you've captured my essence through and through during my sight, like throughout my website, but I think seeing that reflected back to me, was part of me coming out of hiding me coming out of likes, playing small for such a long time and feeling safe to like, it feels big, you know, even though you look back and you're like, Oh, it's just a website, like a when you're in the moment. It's it's it feels like the very public.
Yes, yes, it is. It is like your, your essence, it's because you when you are online, you know, people can't see you or feel your personality, but through your website, they can so it does feel a little bit vulnerable. Actually, when you have that feels like you. It's like, oh, people actually get a taste of you.
I love that. And I think I also felt just from you. And the way you you started like your Instagram, you started marketing out there. And I think I felt a lot of like confidence from you as well. Just feeling like you. You have the site that you were proud of?
Yes, yes. It really is. I mean, I don't know, I this is what's coming to mind. It sounds cliche, but like, really, it's felt like a backbone. For my business. It's felt like a foundation and a really beautiful way for me to feel like, okay, this is not only is this like, legit, but it's like beautiful and stunning and does capture my my essence and my light and my work and my impact in such a such a way that made me so proud. And then it's like that is the launching pad that allows me to like, feel like I can, you know, do social media things and like, yeah, so I guess my website has just really felt like a big foundational backbone piece for my business.
So beautiful. Ah, thank you.
Thank you. And yes, seriously, I can't say it enough. I said it enough, then. But I'll continue saying it truly, it's all thanks to you and your wizardry and magic that you weave into your work. It's just so, so beautiful.
Thank you. And we have more magic to come as we're reiterating redesigning some some beautiful, exciting offers on your site. And so, apart from so your website, we've got coaching, and have you Was there anything else? I know that you spoke briefly about outsourcing or hiring people?
Yeah. Yes. And yeah, I mean, getting to a phase now of hiring a virtual assistant, which is really exciting. And just knowing that as you know, as you expand into your business, that the support that you need and desire also expands and that feels really great to kind of just be at a point where I'm like, Yeah, I can claim that I would like the help and need the help and that is an Last minute, absolutely, that is so worth it again to feel held and supported in, in my service and my impact. It'll allow me to kind of like, delegate some of the things that are not in my Mojo and not in my, my, my highest light, if that makes sense.
Yeah, yeah. What? And like, are you looking for anything in spirit? Like, in particular? Like what exactly? You go? Would you look at? Like, delegating?
Yeah, I think a lot of it has to do with social media stuff, it has to do with YouTube, I'm trying to get my YouTube presence up and going. Um, it is it is. And just some of like, the back end, things, I have a vision of kind of two courses that I would like to create in, in this year 2022. And we're already almost in August. Um, and with that vision in mind, I know, I would like some support with, you know, module creation, getting videos, kind of in a platform that aligns with what I'm looking for. And just having yeah, having some more technical support. That is not where my passion lies. So it is where I would like to have more support.
Yeah, nice. Amazing. And so like, now, just knowing all the things in the wisdom that you know, now, like, what's what's like an advice you would give to your younger self, or like anybody kind of in similar shoes who are thinking about maybe taking that leap, and, and doing just starting their business during their sole passion project, whatever, whatever they feel called to? Yeah, and what's the what's like an advice you would give?
Yeah, I think two things are coming to mind. One is one of my favourite quotes. It's trust the timing of your life. And, like really trusting that, like the timing of you receiving a certain idea, or something that you want to create, or someone you want to work with, like, that's all divinely led, and trusting that it's all coming in, in the right time for you to then take grounded action. And I think that's my second thing is, like, really, I, I would tell my younger self that like, it's, it's like the tango dance, you know, you you've received the download, you receive the idea. And now it's up to me to take a step in, in the physical world. So taking a step towards that idea by, you know, reaching out to someone or like, whatever that grounded action is it, it takes the grounded action to keep the ball in motion, and to keep that vision kind of alive? We I think for a while, I just spent a lot of time in the ideas in the vision in the kind of like creation mode. But I, it was all in my mind. I wasn't bringing that creation mode down into physical action. So I would say just chunking it down by just taking one step at a time taking one step forward. How does that feel? Does this resonate? Do I want to move forward with this? No, I can redirect or yes, I'm going to take another step. And like the path will be revealed. And that's kind of part of the trusting of the timing, but it's, it takes the action to allow the path to reveal itself.
I love that, that that is also just I think a very entrepreneurial minded people tend to be like, up in the clouds. We have like, us we're working on too and another one comes and then we're like, oh, we abandon ship and we with another one.
So guilty, same here. And I think and I think there's like it's important as well to like understand that and then finding people to work with or whether it be an integrator or you know, VA who then can ground your, your ideas. Yeah, we can be really good at coming up with ideas. But like actually doing them is I don't know. It's so true.
So true. For you, I feel so seen. Same same. Yeah.
So So you said you've got two courses. that you're you're looking at creating it, and I know a little bit about them, because we've chatted about this. But the theme about it, it's grounded grieving. And I just love to dive a little bit more into this, this area of grief. And, and what led you to create this programme. And I saw, I personally know a few people who've, like lost their mothers or just family members during this pandemic, whether it's due to the pandemic or not. And it's so heartbreaking. And sometimes I don't quite know, myself, you know, what they need, how to hold space for them? What to say other than just I'm like, so, so sorry. And, and so from someone who has been through that grieving process yourself, like, what has that process been like, for you? And I'm sure it's an ever go like, forever process, right? What stage are you at now? And? And also, just like, Do you have any advice for people? Friends of people who have lost loved ones? What can we do say hold space for? Other than just saying the normal? Like, I'm sorry?
Yeah, yes, I love that you're bringing this up? Thank you so much for bringing this up. And it's just so important. Yeah, so I guess I would say, to touch on, you know, I lost quite a few loved ones within a very short amount of time. And then the last person in that short amount of time of all these souls that were transitioning to the other side, was my dad. And that was kind of like, it was just, it felt like a big a big shock in so many ways. And I think, from that, you move through many, many, many emotions. And, you know, I really do believe death is not an ending, it's actually a beginning, a beginning for our loved ones who are who, you know, transition to the other side and a new beginning, for my own life. And I think one of the things probably a lot of people can relate to who have felt intense layers of grief is, you know, I'm Mark, I'm Mark time by like, in my life by like, before, before dad passed, and after dad passed, in my mind in my life, that's kind of how I like categorise my life now. And with that, I think there is, there's so much to say on this. So I'm gonna try and keep this somewhat concise. Because I am so passionate about bringing this into more of our conversations with other beautiful humans in the world that we love and that we care about. But to answer your question, in terms of how, just some thoughts around, how to hold space in a way that is most beneficial for someone who could be grieving. I think it's really just being there, even if you're not physically there, it's, it's it's an acknowledgment of, of their grief, allowing it to be whatever it is, in that particular moment. I think for a while, I really just wanted someone to be like, well, how are you doing today? Like, or how are you doing in this moment? Because obviously, the the elephant in the room is that of course, I'm grieving and of course, you know, you know that I had this significant loss in my life. And so I think sometimes some people just don't know what to say so they don't say anything at all. And I get that because they don't want to say the wrong thing, etc. I would just say like being present and and showing up like really showing up with any sort of communication. I had a dear friend send me cat videos, like once a week for like the first six months with no nothing like no like, thinking of, you know, like, wanted to cheer you up today like just And the videos and it just was so I mean, for me, I just thought that was so beautiful because I could just receive something light hearted and receive something that I know she took time to intentionally, like find and curate for me to send. So it's, it's, it's just showing up, it's showing up. And if you are physically around, you know, someone that you love who is grieving, sometimes it could just be like, you know, I'm going to be in the, you know, hospital lobby for the next two hours, just here for you, if you want to come down and have a hug, like, I'm not expecting you to, but I'm here. Just being like just finding unique ways to be present it in a way that just allows that person who is grieving to kind of be seen and witnessed in their grief in whatever capacity. And the last thing I'll say is just, I think is, is really just this notion of like, oh, I don't want to bring it up. Like, I don't want to trigger anything. I don't want to know, I don't want to.
That's exactly I ask you is like, we don't want to trigger you. And maybe you're fine. You weren't thinking about it. And then suddenly we asked you, how are you dealing with your grief? And then we would just don't want to? Yeah, bring all of that back up for you. If you didn't want to feel all of that?
Yeah. Yeah, I would, I would say to that is actually like, I think for people who are grieving. Like it's on our minds all the time, like, there's never going to be a time where I don't think so. Like, I guess I should speak for myself. But I do believe that, like, there is this desire for people who are grieving to be witnessed, and, and be witnessed in, in expressing anything relating to their loved one. So the door's always I feel like usually always open on the, the Griever side, as awful as that role title is. It's really like, because it's on my end, I'm like, Oh, well, I don't know if you know, these people want to hear me talk about my dad, or talk at length about my dad or talk about where I'm at in my grief, I don't want to put them in an uncomfortable situation by bringing it up. So I'll just wait until they kind of open that door and make that invitation through and ask. And then I'll open up and share. But sometimes, you know, depending on that, that friend and that loved one, they just don't ask because they don't want to be the trigger. And you kind of end up some of this has happened to me. Personally, it's kind of like you end up at, like, stagnant time in a relationship. Because the person doesn't know how to ask. And you don't know how to like, bring it up in a way where they are ready to hear some of the depths if does this make sense?
No, no, it does. Because it's so fun. It's like, oh, I didn't realise that you were thinking that and they didn't realise that? We were thinking that right? Like for me, I'm like, Oh, of course, I would just so preoccupied with like, my own thoughts, in a way not thinking that actually you might want to be invited to speak about it and to share your emotion in that moment.
Yes, yes. Yeah, yes.
Thank you for sharing that. And so like, maybe just like also quickly diving into then, because you offer grounded grieving as, as a course as a containers programme for people who are who have been through correct me if I'm wrong, who've been through that initial first stage of grief, and are ready to really like, just completely heal it. And to to Yeah, kind of find support, in that. I'd love to hear from you. Just like what is this? What can people expect from from grounded grieving, like if they were to seek out extra support?
Yeah, yes. And I think this is I mean, granted, grieving is meant to be a journey of being witnessed in your grief wherever you're at. I do think it's, it's for someone who Who is really at that point of being able to share about their experiences with other people who are also grieving. So they're well, you know, you might be going through initial stages of grief. This, this journey is for those who are ready to kind of also communicate and share in a group space and with, with me and being being open to being held in that kind of way. And I think in the first couple of months, things are still so I guess in survival mode that I think it can be, you might not be I know, I was not ready to be fully seen held witness all the things because I was just in like, my nervous system was truly just in shock for a while dealing with kind of my own processing, if you will, and then I kind of realised, okay, wow, I really could use some, some support. So it's really for anyone feeling various levels of grief, kind of after those initial stages. And it's also for people who are going through significant life moments, whether that's pregnancy, marriage, starting a business, like any significant things where you, you wish your loved one was kind of here in the physical to be a part of that transition, or be a part of that life moment. This is also for people who are kind of in those life moments wanting some extra support, if, if their mom passed away, 20 years ago, different things are going to be coming up at different stages. And so this grounded grieving journey is just allowing, in additional space, to be held for wherever you're at, in in your grief, because really, grieving is not something that will ever, ever be healed, it is not a box to check, it is something that you will be feeling and moving through various waves of for the rest of your life. And so I think it's just meeting people wherever they're at and that experience that's so beautiful.
And I would be curious to hear just Where where are you at, in your process of grieving, if you feel if you want to share.
Yeah, I'm absolutely open to sharing. I am in I am in, you know, my dad, his birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. And so as soon as, you know, a significant date, like his birthday is kind of like looming in the near future, I know that things start coming up again. So I would say I'm currently just I'm in I'm currently in a phase of moving through a little bit of abandonment, so a little bit of abandonment within my grief, not of the grief but of feeling abandoned, and some abandonment wounding around him, my dad leaving at age 63 And I was 29 at the time of his passing and so just some some abandonment stuff is has been coming up which has been something that's been coming up since the past, it's just a different different layer, a different layer, and you know, birthdays and holidays and Father's Day and all these significant moments are just markers in time for for us to feel into what we're currently allowing ourselves to feel. So that is where I'm at in my my process. Thank you for asking that.
I as you kind of move through these different stages of grief, like I assume it doesn't feel lighter for you. As you move through does it does and you know, I know that there are like technical stages of grief but I feel like there are so many energetic stages of grief that transcend the you know, the five traditional stages so I think it's just allowing yourself to feel those waves of grief in whatever emotional format they are with whatever word technical word it is. So I'm so sorry, I'm what was your question? Now? I'm not drawing a blank.
No, no, I'm just like as you as As you move through your your stages of grief, like, how does that feel to kind of? Is it kind of like taking a layer off? Do you feel like less? I didn't? Does it feel like the clouds are clearing? Or? Yeah, just what does it feel like to kind of move through these different stages of healing? And yes,
I think I loved what you shared around like, clouds kind of gently clearing. Because you do feel lighter, you feel lighter. And, and then, like, at least for me, I'll feel lighter for you know, a period of time, let's say. And then out of nowhere, a wave of grief kind of just like unfolds. And I have to be present with that. And I have to allow myself to feel that. So it is kind of the toggling between feeling lighter. And with each wave, you do kind of feel lighter and stronger for moving through it through that particular wave, if that makes sense. But also feeling lighter and more connected to your own resiliency, your own connection to yourself, your own you know, ability to see your life in a totally different lens. And, you know, death will wake you up real quick in terms of what your priorities are, and how you choose to spend your time. And so I do think in those lighter moments, there's pockets of feeling really empowered, in how you're designing your life and how you're creating your life. With this newfound sense of purpose and connection. And lightheartedness to knowing that, like, you know, life is short and incredibly precious. And so yeah, that kind of weaves itself into the feeling of feeling lighter. And when those two wave waves do inevitably come, you can kind of move through them with a little bit more grace and ease, depending on so beautiful.
Okay, this has been such a beautiful conversation, thank you just for sharing so openly about your experiences. And just to sort of round off the podcast, this is something a question, I love to ask everybody. And it's what does a free, wild and soulful life look like or feel like for you?
What a powerful question. Oh, it's so such a profound question. I think for me, it's really living with intention. It's living with intention and deciding to live with intention. I think it's a it's a choice to live intentionally, and I think that breeds kind of like this feeling of alignment and purpose and mission and and expansion that would be my answer.
Beautiful, and what are some ways then for people to live more intentionally? Do you mean just touching in with their intentions on a more regular basis?
I mean, like living with intention and a sense of like, like, I am living with intention to be present. So like, living with intention would be like, Okay, I, I intend to, like weave in working with nature in a new way, or like exploring, I guess, living with intention to me is just living with purpose and living with weaving in whatever it is that you kind of want to experience in any present moment.
Yeah, almost like declaring it to yourself, writing it down, making it just present. And yeah, yeah.
Yeah, declaring it to yourself, I think is just, yeah, I mean, you could any any present moment you could make that declaration that decision to live with intention, and also like living with intention to is for me, you know, not getting bogged down. into, into the sheds into the things is in our world into the conditioning into the distractions of like, where society wants us to put our headspace our money, etc. It's like no, it's coming back to me. It's coming back to my my soul self that wants to live with the intention that I want to lead with. Yeah.
And yeah, and there's a feeling of just light weight adness like this burden that is just just lifted off your shoulders I think when you do touch and deeply with your intentions.
Yeah, absolutely absolutely beautiful. I love that. Wow,
thank you so much for hopping on for your time for sharing so openly. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm loving this podcast. I'm incredibly grateful to have been on it with you. So thank you
